Friday, July 18, 2014

Doritos Loaded- 7-Eleven: Cherry Hill, NJ

Doritos Loaded- 7-Eleven: Cherry Hill, NJ

Unlike my normal reviews this one was photographed on the go. Say hello to the interior of my Toyota.

When this item was making it's rounds on all of the foodie blogs I was admittedly horrified, but still oddly curious. I mean they are fried triangles of processed cheese covered in breadcrumbs made from nacho flavored Doritos, none of that is in any way actual food, but when we stopped to get gas on our way home from work my boyfriend and I were staring at the advertisement for these cheesy abominations and we decided to give them a try.

While the overall design follows the "X-treme" Doritos aesthetic, which is almost jokingly obnoxious, the packaging was surprisingly detailed for a conveience store/gas station item. Not only was it folded into a handy cardboard sleeve, but there is even a little pull tab shaped like one of these cheesy triangles to act as a dispenser. It may not look really fancy, but the packaging prevents you from being burned by fried cheese, so it functions well.

I pulled down the tab and the little cheesy triangles were just as orange as they appeared in the 7-Eleven ad. These are bold and bright, just like nacho cheese Doritos, and they smell...bad for you. These little triangles smell like Doritos and fry oil, although I don't think these are fried in the actual store, are they?

After just one bite, I felt like I had already had enough. These were just as artificial as one would expect.

Inside, the "cheese" is a bright yellowy-orange color and it tastes like the liquid stuff that comes from a pump in most movie theaters or school cafeterias. The semi-solid Velveeta-like cheese center is coated in cheesy Dorito crumbs, so you get a mish-mash of almost every form or artificial cheese on the market all in one handy little triangle.

I'm not trying to sound like a food snob, I mean White Castle is one of my favorite restaurants, but this was bad. Really bad. If you really wanted I bet you could easily recreate this at home using either Velvetta or Kraft Singles and a bunch of Dorito crumbs, but I think this is more of a novelty than something you'd want to make for actual eating. It was fun to get them once and enjoy them with my boyfriend, but I won't be buying any more of these in the future. (Although if some kind of ranch version emerges I'd be willing to try those at least once.)
© Maria Smith
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