At first I thought about doing a video review with this product, since it's new and interesting, but one look at this thing and... NO. Never gonna happen. I used to love Push-Pops as a kid, but as an adult? They're totally NSFW to eat in public, let alone in a video posted on the internet. So, written review it is!
In a similar fashion to Mystery Airheads, Push-Pop went with a metallic silver wrapper and some colorful question marks. The silver color makes this candy stand out from the other more definitive flavors, and it's definitely eye catching. This was in the very bottom shelf of the check out aisle, way down near my feet, and it still caught my eye! (Although why is candy that I put in my mouth so close to the store floor? I mean there's no doubt in my mind that kids are going to lick this packaging at some point and not just the candy inside.) I like the layout and metallic backdrop, so as far as label-design is concerned, this is a success, but what about the overall form and function?
When I took the cap off, this white cylinder of sugar literally shot out at me. These are spring loaded now!? That seems really dangerous, like, couldn't that knock right into a kid's front teeth? How is this better than the older version? When I was a kid you'd have to manually push the lollipop portion up with your finger. (Which is so hard to describe without sounding incredibly wrong. I mean, insert a finger and then suck on the erect tube of sugar candy that was inside? Just...why?) It gets worse, as a kid all your spit would slide down the candy and get all over your finger inside... was this candy created by the devil? I guess they remedied the spit-finger problem with this spring loaded mechanism, but now I shudder in horror imagining all the spit collecting in this plastic tube instead.
Okay, enough of me fixating on the gross and phallic potential of this candy, what is this "Mystery" flavor, and how does it taste?
There's a hole in the center?! Seriously? COME ON PEOPLE! Who thought this stuff up? Not only does that look wrong, but that chamber collects spit as you eat it! Why is everything about eating this candy so sticky and gross?
Okay, I honestly have no idea what this flavor is meant to be, but whatever it is, it's good! The candy is a solid white, which is kind of unnerving to look at, but it prevents your brain from relating it's color to a flavor and influencing your overall opinion. The hard candy tastes sweet, a little tangy, and fruity, but what is it? It's bizarrely familiar. I feel like I've had something close to this in a gummy candy, maybe one of the flavors in my Gummi Lifesavers reviews?
Sometimes I think I taste something tropical and tangy, like pineapple, but it's also sweet and creamy. The closest thing I can liken it to are those passion fruit and mango gummies from Trader Joe's, but it's still not quite the same. Thanks to Facebook being stupid I can't seem to find the comment, but a reader actually tried this before I did, and they thought it might be lychee mixed with strawberry. I could definitely see that being a possibility. This is sweet and tangy with a tropical-profile, and even though I can't exactly place what this flavor is, I really like it.
If it wasn't so...inappropriate looking to eat in public, I'd definitely buy another one of these, but with it looking so bizarre, and there already being such a stigma with grown people eating phallic foods (like bananas) while they're out and about, I don't know if I'd personally repurchase this. If I did, I'd be eating behind closed doors.