Ranting & Retail Therapy - Halloween Clearance 2023

I trick-or-treated-myself to clearance candy. A LOT of clearance candy. Even by my standards.

Originally I wanted to find some pillows and décor, but it was slim pickin's. That's what you get when Christmas items roll out on October 1st. (RIP Thanksgiving, you're problematic, but I love your food.)

Upon reflection, Christmas isn't to blame. (Although I will make angry Instagram Reels about winter products encroaching upon my spooky season.) No matter what seasonal-flavor you subscribe to, it's all the same consumerism, and our consumer-clock is completely out of whack. 

Back to school sales were popping up as early as June, when some kids were still in school. Halloween was rolling out in July. Christmas by the end of September. Forget Daylight Savings, this is what needs adjusting! Sticking with a Christmas metaphor, we're opening our gifts too early. By the time the actual event rolls around, we're celebration-fatigued and the magic is gone.

How do we get it back? At some point, will we skew so far that we loop back into appropriate seasonal time frames?  Like when something is so lame it's cool? Probably not. And I definitely can't control when the Pumpkin Spice Lattes or Mariah Carey anthems hit the masses. 

Spotting skeletons on shelves in July is bittersweet. I'm spooky-season through-and-through but I also love summer, and if I want the "good" Halloween stuff, I need to grab it before the end of August or I'll have nothing come October! The justified fear of missing out because I didn't conform to accelerated consumption stops me from attempting a more appropriate self-imposed timeline.

I am but one little blogger in a sea of nonsense on the internet, and I am screaming into the void, "let us savor our seasons!" But I don't know how to make it stop.  

Dramatics aside...here's what I bought on the clearance racks this year. 

A River of Candy Corn Runs Through It - Fall Festival Candy Corn

Happy Halloween! What better way to wrap things up than with some novelty candy corn! 

Brach's Fall Festival Candy Corn has 6 distinct flavors: 

Trick or Treat: Favorite Day Filled Gumballs

Normally I try to go in and write these with a first-taste experience, but I cracked into these the second I bought them, they're great! Probably my favorite Favorite Day product I've ever had. 

You get three flavors, and each have a unique filling. 

Trick of Treat - Minecraft Edition: Suspicious Stew Pringles

Yesterday's not-really-Halloween-but-kind-of-Trick-or-Treat-adjacent theme continues! Today I have these Suspicious Stew flavored Pringles. 

Minecraft is something beyond my elder-millennial scope, so I asked my younger cousin to explain it's, "Suspicious Stew," item to me. She said it is kind of like poison, it makes your screen get all wiggly. Makes sense to me as an in-game item, but when there are other more positive foods in the game they could have gone with, I do think it's a strange choice for a limited run flavor. (A "sus" choice?)

Sadly, I bought these for whatever normal price they were going for at Walmart, but if you do want to try these for yourself, they seem to be popping up at Dollar Trees already for a lower price, which does not bode well for my snacking experience. 

It's ALIVE - Trick or Treat: Mushroom-based Sodas?

While these are not overtly Halloween-themed, in my mind, they're Trick-or-Treat-adjacent. Stick with me and you'll see.

I don't drink booze, I rarely drink coffee, and I don't do artificial sweeteners or diet beverages. What I DO drink is a lot of water, seltzers, and soda. Soda is my coffee. (Soda is a god. Soda is the breeze in my hair on the weekend.) 

Soda is my go-to caffeine boost, but we all know soda is not good for you, and I do like to make healthier choices when I can, so when I spotted these "healthy" sodas at Lidl I thought this could be a great alternative. That is, if they actually taste good. 

So, healthy mushroom-based sodas, a trick? Or a treat? 

Confectionary Fright-Flight? - Seasonal Sampler of Cotton Candy

Fun Sweets Seasonal Sampler - Walmart

A flight of seasonal cotton candy! What a great concept! 

Years of blogging has taught me that less is more. (As long as the price is right.) Buying entire packages of wacky flavored chips or cookies can be so wasteful. If limited edition flavors are released in smaller serving sizes, that's the way to go. That said, tiny tubs of novelty flavored cotton candy sounds absolutely perfect to me! 

Even though I've already tried and reviewed two of these flavors, the S'more and Candy Corn, I couldn't resist the idea of cranberry cotton candy. I pretty much bought this entire set just for that flavor alone. A wise decision?  We'll see...

Baby's First Liquid Death - Berry it Alive

Liquid Death canned water sounds like it's ripped from an episode of Metalocalypse, but it's legit! And it's actually been around for a while. 

You'd think I would have gotten into this stuff a lot sooner, what with it being covered in skulls and having the tag line, "murder your thirst." Completely my aesthetic, and yet, I never got around to it. 

Then, last night, I was at Walmart grabbing seasonal cat treats (because I'm that kind of pet-mom), when I spotted an 8-pack of "Berry It Alive," on the discounted food end-cap. I figured, what better time to drink Liquid Death than in the midst of Spooky Season? Plus, it's discounted! (Not sure why, but it was only $7.00, a bad omen?) 

So, let's find out if this is...to die for? 

Halloween Candy Showdown: Name-Brand vs Target vs Trader Joes

No-frills products are the way to go, especially when it comes to pantry staples, but there are some exceptions to the rule, like candy bars. It's really tempting to grab store branded sweets when filling your candy bowl, but are they worth it? 

I grabbed candy from Target's house brand, Trader Joe's house brand, and the real deal, who will come out on top?