That's right. It's Saturday, I write a food blog, and I'm reviewing a chocolate mint flavored toothpaste.
A while ago Crest came out with some foodie-flavored products, and I bought two thinking I'd review them, but I never really got around to it. Really, I've been dragging my feet on these for quite a while. I don't even know if they're available anymore. To be honest, I'm expecting these to taste like that gross flavored fluoride at the dentist's office, so I waited until my go-to mint toothpaste was gone, so I'd be forced to use these up even if they ended up being awful. With that being said, it's obvious that I'm going into this with pretty low expectations, but let's get started.
So the packaging is typical for toothpaste, we have a cardboard box containing a plastic-y tube of product. The theme of this line was "Be" and it was followed by various words. In this case, the product is "Be Adventurous." For a supposedly adventurous product, the packaging seems pretty tame. I like the artwork on the right side of the box, which is made out of various simple vectored shapes and patterns, but the typographic choices for the "Be" look really out of place. If I cover up the giant font with my hand I like the packaging a lot more. It's really the font choice that makes it seem so weird. Why a serif font? I'm all for mixing font families, but it's just not working here. Other than that, I think all the warm toned colors seem really out of place as well. Why aren't there more cool minty colors and browns? I guess adding the bright oranges, yellows, and reds makes it more "adventurous," but I would have liked a more flavor-focuses color theme.
Okay, enough ramblings. It's late at night and I want to brush my teeth and get my butt to bed.
There was no seal, so I could immediately smell the product. Oh boy. It smells like mint chocolate dentist's office. The smell alone gives me war-like flashbacks to being a kid with a foam tray of fluoride in my mouth. In the words of the internet, do not want. To be fair the scent isn't awful, it's a classic sweet mint with a hint of chocolate, but the chocolate aroma is kind of like when candles and bath products try and mimic chocolate. It's obviously not chocolate, but it's trying to be, and it's off putting.
I squirted some onto my brand new toothbrush (no janky used tooth brushes for you guys) and it's a pale blue color with little brown flecks. Witchcraft. How is this smelling so strongly of fake chocolate if it's not brown? Then again I can't say I'd ever feel comfortable brushing my teeth with a brown toothpaste. That makes me think of coffee and tea stains, so maybe this weirdly blue color is the best route Crest could have taken.
As I brushed my teeth with it I was pretty shocked that it wasn't halfway as weird as I thought it's be. Initially, it tastes like it smells. It's not as bad as the stuff they used in the dentist's office when I was a kid, and it's actually pretty nice...until the tip of my tongue started tingling and went numb.
Welp, this might be my first allergic reaction to a product I reviewed for this blog. It's been about 3 years now, so I think that's a pretty good track record. So I finished brushing my teeth, rinsed my mouth and examined my tongue in the mirror. (No photos of that. That'd just be weird.) It looks fine, maybe the area near the tip (
giggleI'm a mature adult) is slightly irritated, but nothing looks out of the ordinary.
© Maria Smith http://poison-and-antidote.net
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