Vita Cocoa Cafe in Original & Vanilla - Aldi
Coconut water is so three years ago! Seriously, this stuff was everywhere and it was ungodly popular. Why? I have no idea. Sure it's all super hydrating and stuff, but it's only beneficial to people who are seriously into physical activity or sports, like marathon running.
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| You tell 'em Ann! (You beautiful sunfish!) |
The average person simply doesn't need coconut water, so why were they all drinking it? Was it the taste? When this stuff was at the height of it's popularity, I tried the Rhianna-endorsed tropical fruit flavored coconut water that was really popular at the time. I mean, if it's good enough for Rihanna, it's gotta be tasty, right? It tasted like I was drinking Hawaiian Punch that had been filtered through a week-old gym sock. I thought something might have been wrong with my package, so I gave a few other coconut water products a try, but it was always the same. No fruity flavor could mask the sweat-sock-y-ness.
Flash forward to now, when the trend is (finally) dying, and the product has become so unpopular it finally ended up on Aldi's discounted shelves. I saw these two products, and that they were pretty cheap, so I figured, why not give it one last go? If it's awful, I'll at least get a funny review out of it.
Both flavors use the same carton-style container that's made with a plastic-coated cardboard, so they're leak-proof and recyclable while still being light weight. It functions nicely, and the best part is that it has a resealable plastic cap so you don't have to drink this all in one sitting, or worry about spills if you're drinking this on-the go.
Even though I wasn't a fan of coconut water as a product, I always felt like Vita Coco had really nice packaging and designs. Both of these flavors feature clean, easy to read text, with vibrant logos, and there's even some faux texturing in the solid blocks of color to add visual interest. It's a simple design, but a well thought out kind of simple. I think their design/advertising team has always been really strong and that's one of the reasons they've been able to hold one to the public's interest for as long as they have. (I mean, how else are you tricking so many people into buying sweat-flavored water for all these years? They made it cool!)
Alright, let's see if coffee can mask the flavor of this stuff enough for me to actually enjoy it.
I opened up the first container after giving it a good shake, and poured some into a glass to get a better look. At a glance, it looks like a normal glass of iced coffee, but when you get a bit closer there are some slightly chunky white bits floating around in it, and the coffee itself has a slightly pink-tinge to it. It's not unappealing looking, and it smells like your typical Starbucks-style bottled coffee drink, so far there's nothing out of the ordinary about this coconut water coffee at all. I'm a little disappointed that there's nothing for me to whine about.
I took a sip, and there it is! The first thing that hit me was was tangy and slightly sour sweat-y flavor of the coconut water, which is just as unpleasant as I remembered, and then the coffee settled in afterwards. It wasn't completely awful, I could still drink this if I was really determined to, but the coconut water portion of this beverage had me double checking the expiration date. Imagine cleaning out your car, or your room, and finding a bottled Starbucks's drink from last week, and you decide to throw caution to the wind and drink it. That what this tastes like to me. It's got this tangy, slightly soured coffee, flavor to it but without the curled milk and science-project looking mold.
I may be picking on it a bit, but it really wasn't -that- bad. It's definitely not undrinkable by any means, but I don't enjoy it either. Maybe the vanilla will make this a bit more palatable.
Next up, vanilla! This one seems to have way more white floaty chunks in it, which isn't off putting, but it's worth mentioning. There's easily three times as many in this flavor, even though I shook it up really well.
I took a sip, and this is definitely sweeter than the original version, which helps with the odd sports drink-like saltiness of the coconut water, but it has the same song acidic tang to it. Thanks to the added vanilla-sweetness, this tastes even more like a bottled Frappuchino I found under my car seat. It's sour, and the acidity upsets my stomach a little bit, but it isn't spit-take-worthy.
I can easily drink both of these (because I'm cheap and I hate wasting money), but I would never repurchase. They're sour and taste a little off to me, like all other coconut water-based beverages. I really don't get the appeal of this stuff. It just tastes like it's gone sour or spoiled or something. Drinking these was more like a chore than a treat. If any of you like coconut water, comment down below and tell me what it is you like about this stuff. Maybe my tongue is broken or something, but as-is, I can't say I'd recommend this to anyone. (Unless you like tangy sour coffee.)
Coconut water is indeed disgusting, you are not alone.
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