Friday, March 25, 2016

Bluesberry Smash - 7-Eleven

Bluesberry Smash - 7-Eleven
The last flavor I reviewed was a bust, but I still love you Jones, and I know you can do better. Here we are again with another flavor from this line-up to hopefully redeem this brand that I know and love. 
Writing that last review broke my heart, but it had to be done. That tropical soda was awful and I wasn't the only one to think so. My sister and my boyfriend both hated it as well, but maybe that was the dud in the flavor line-up. There's no way all 5 flavors could be a bust, right? I decided to give these another shot, and this one is blue, which means it's automatically cooler and 1000% more awesome.  

The labeling is the same as the tropical flavor, but the color scheme and fruits have been swapped to match the new blueberry theme. They use the same black and white photo collage in the background, which is reminiscent of the older Jones aesthetic, but it has a mass produced feel. Back in the day each Jones bottle had a unique photo printed on it, which is what gave them such a loyal artsy-fanbase (it's what originally lured me into my first purchase as a teenager), but these commercial bottles feel so...commercial! It makes sense. This line was made for 7-Eleven to be super cheap impulse buy beverages, similar to Arizona tall-cans. The commercial feel is because this is a commercial product, so I can't really fault them for that, but still...I miss the unique feel of original Jones products. 

I twisted the cap off, and the blue liquid inside smelled sucralose-y. Again?! Sure enough, there it is on the ingredients label! Why Jones?! The front of the bottle proudly displays that these are made with "cane sugar," do you really need the added chemically sweetened boost? Other than the terrible artificial sweetener aroma, this smells generically blueberry-like. Similar to blue freezer popsicles, Icees, or blue Kool-Aid. (Which my boyfriend pointed out.) The aroma reminded me of when I drank Pepsi Blue in the early 2000's!

I took a sip, and the flavoring starts out really diet-y, it has that gross fake sugar taste from the added sucralose (which I hate), but thankfully it fades into a much more tolerable artificial "blue" flavor. It's hard to describe this flavor as anything other than "blue". It's kind of raspberry-like, but not authentic in anyway, and it tastes like melted sugar-free blue freezer popsicles with a light carbonation. It's a blue soda, I knew I was getting something sugary and artificial, and that's what I wanted, but the damn sucralose completely ruins this for me. I hate drinking fake sugar and diet beverages, and not only do I hate the taste, but this stuff usually triggers my vertigo. How can they add sucralose to these things in the fine print, when the bolder front text boasts about real cane sugar? 

If you like the taste of sugar free soda, diet soda, and sugar free blue Kool-Aid, you'll love this stuff. General consensus of my household is that this was another flop. My sister, my mother, and my boyfriend all had high hopes for you, Jones. We knew you could be great, but you used the fake sugar and took the easy way out, again. I won't be trying anything else from this line-up.
Jones, I tried. I gave you another shot, but this fake-sugar-love isn't working for me. I'm going to have to call it. This new soda line is a bust. I fell in love with who you were and what you used to stand for, but you've changed. I'll still buy your classic bottles, but when it comes to this new stuff? I have to walk away. 
© Maria Smith
Like me on facebook to keep up with all my adventures!

No comments:

Post a Comment