Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Going Overboard at 7-Eleven

7-Eleven Mystery Monkeys & Nerds Slurpee
I can't remember why we stopped at 7-Eleven in the first place, but I ended up leaving with a Nerds Slurpee, some mystery monkey gummis, the new Voo-Doo Mountain Dew and some White Castle refrigerated butter cake slices on a stick. I've never seen these sold at actual White Castle locations, but I'm excited! 
For starters, let's chow down on some mystery candy with a candy flavored Slurpee chaser. (Voo-Doo Dew and White Castle will each be getting their own stand-alone reviews next week.) 

Nerds Slurpee: The art on the machine looks just like the little cardboard boxes of Nerds candy I bought as a kid, so there was a glimmer of nostalgia behind this purchase. We have purple and pink cartoon nerds, representing the classic combination of grape and strawberry and the Slurpee itself is a light lavender color. 
I always preferred the strawberry side of the box, so I was worried the purple coloring meant this was going to be grape-focused, but guess what? This thing is MAGICAL. This tastes so accurate that it's scary. I can taste the grape, the strawberry, and even that slight tanginess of the exterior sugar coating from the actual candy. There's nothing else I can really say to describe this product, other than it tastes JUST LIKE NERDS. This is a very rare occurrence in the foodie world, and it's honestly a breath of fresh air.   
My recent reviews have been negative, and while picking on bad food can be kind of fun, I was worried that I was getting too grumpy to enjoy wacky food items like I used to. Turns out I just needed to find some good ones, like this Slurpee. With such an over-saturated and unimaginative food market, finding good novelty food products is getting harder and harder to do. This Slurpee gave me the sugar rush I needed to keep going. I may be over-hyping this a bit, but this Slurpee made me really happy, and I drank the whole thing and will be getting another one before this flavor disappears. 
I highly recommend everyone give it a try, especially if you're tired of getting burned by bad novelty food products. This will not disappoint.  
Time for some business, monkey business (boo)...
Visually, the art is colorful, but generic, and the shapes of the gummies are pretty rough. These look like genetically modified nightmare blobs, not monkeys, but the opaque pastel colors remind me of 90's fruit snacks which was the sole reason I bought them. My brain was telling me that these might taste like the Garfield/Shark Bites/Scooby Doo snacks from my childhood, since the milky color was so popular back then, and it's a long-shot, but with "mystery flavors," you never know.
Pink: Has the strongest aroma of the three. It's a sweet and tangy fruity scent that reminds me of the mango gummies from Trader Joe's I really liked a few years ago. Unfortunately, this smelled a lot more flavorful than it tastes. The flavoring of this is creamy and mild, I think this is mango yogurt flavored, but it's so incredibly mild that I can't be sure. Still, it's not bad, and easily snackable. 
Green: Another mild generically fruity aroma that I cannot place. It feels like this color has a stiffer chew than the pink version, and the flavoring is sweet and mild, but I have absolutely no idea what it is. It's nice, whatever it is. It kind of reminds me of the white mystery Push-Pop, which I was never able to 100% place either. This mystery remains a mystery, but it's a pleasant experience nonetheless. 
Blue: If this has a scent, it's far to mild to even detect. I popped it into my mouth and immediately recognized the flavor. This tastes just like the clear pineapple/tropical gummy bears in Haribo. Although this isn't my favorite gummy bear it's a welcome change of pace from the other flavors in this mix which are extremely mild. 
Since the first flavor was mango (I think), and the last flavor was definitely pineapple, I wonder if the green one is supposed to be watermelon and this is a monkey themed tropical mix? I don't think the green monkey tastes like watermelon, but a lot of watermelon flavored things don't really taste like there's that. 
They may have generic tropical flavors, and they kind of look like amorphous blobs, but for a 7-Eleven candy product, this is better than I expected, even if they're not the 90's fruit snack revival I had hoped they'd be. If you only have a few bucks, definitely ditch the monkeys and go for the Slurpee. You won't regret it.
Fans of Mystery Monkeys may also like: Trader Joe's Mango Mango and Mystery Push-Pops
Fans of Nerds Slurpees may also like: Happiness, Nerds candy, 90's nostalgia, and reasons to wake up in the morning.  
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