Monday, January 2, 2023

Sometimes Foodie's Not-so-Secret Stash - Part 1

My food hoard is officially out of control. I have lots of expired food, and I hate myself for it. It's a waste of money, resources, and, I'm finally going to do something about it. Tomorrow, after work, I am sitting down and filming myself trying as much of this junk as I can stand (anything that's still safe anyway) and getting rid of it, once and for all! 

That said, here are four items from my hoard pile that I already had photographed and just, never got around to posting. Consider this a literal taste of things to come...

First up, double trouble, Aldi released seasonal peanut butters in fall of, like, 2019? 2018? They were good until 2020 and, as you know, it's 2023, yeah. That happened. 

Since I am not the biggest peanut butter fan these just ended up in the back of the cabinet, for way too long. 

Pumpkin PB: Sweet, spiced, and definitely past it's prime. Looking past it's staleness, I still think it tastes like a seasonal dog treat. But like, one of those fancy ones that looks like a human-cookie. As far as I can tell, this item never returned, so I am guessing Aldi didn't get many sales on this one, and it's easy to see why. What do you do with this? Even when it was viable, would you want a spiced pumpkin and grape jelly sandwich? I guess you could have made pumpkin peanut butter cookies with it, or if you're one of those smoothie people who drinks protein powders it might make a seasonal drink, but even fresh, I just, don't see the need for this item. Into the trash you go! 

Maple: I could see this one having more applications, like in the aforementioned smoothies, or more compatible in sandwiches due to it's maple flavoring. It's like peanut butter, for breakfast. While more palatable, I still don't find myself ever wishing for novelty themed peanut butter. And this is another item I think Aldi has never rereleased, so I guess no one else was reaching for it either. While I like you more than your pumpkin counterpart, I won't miss you taking up space in my cupboard.

Thankfully this one is more recent. 

In October I live streamed on my friend's Twitch Channel, and we tried these Cucumber Chips. Even though she hates cucumbers, and I thought these would be a fun, gross, item to try...they turned out to be really benign. 

They kind of taste like instant corn potage soup, with a slightly cucumber after taste. They're mild, oddly sweet, a little oniony, and creamy....but I haven't touched them since. Cucumber just isn't a potato chip flavor I ever asked for, and now that they have been acknowledged on the blog, and since they aren't expired, they can be crushed up and used for squirrel/bird food. R.I.P. Cucumber Bag-o-Chips. 

Lastly, I have these...watermelon mochi? Okay Google Lens says they're watermelon flavored Hokkaido milk bread, that looks to be wrapped in mochi? 

These are the real wild card here, because I have no idea when I bought them, and there is no English on the package other than "watermelon flavor." Expired? Maybe...your guess is as good as mine! 

Opened, they smell sweet and mild, kind of like untoasted white bread and butter. Taking a bite, the interior is super dry, but you know what? The flavor is actually quite nice! It's mild, and sweet, and oddly refreshing? It's kind of watermelon like, but if watermelon juice were somehow combined with actual butter. Which sounds gross, but I promise you, it's oddly satisfying. Other than the insides being over dry, this is pretty darn good. I might even buy this again...if I could ever remember where I bought it. Or when,...honestly, it's probably the best item out of the four from this post. 

This was just four of the many MANY items in my backlog, tune in for the upcoming video and let's hope I don't encounter anything too gnarly.

Here's to a fresh start and a hard learned lesson about not wasting food!  

Fans of this would also like: Bad decisions, Eating with your eyes, and Forgetting what you have. 

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