Monday, September 23, 2024

Coca-Cola Spiced - DISCOUNTINUED - A Calculated Flop? (My rants are back!)

I LOVED raspberry Coke. It was a flavor that was only available in Remix machines and I'm not the only fan, raspberry was selected so often that Coke decided to make it a permanent addition to the line up. I was excited until I realized they added a stupid misguided twist when it was finally released in February 2024.

Coke added spices to the formula, which were mild, but notably changed the end product from the beloved machine-only raspberry blend, and THEN they called this concoction, "Spiced." A name that mismatched it's raspberry-forward flavoring and completely confused the public. No one knew what to expect, so no one bought it. To make matters worse, they took raspberry Coke out of the remix machines completely!

The original is gone. The replacement is a poor imitation no one understands. A recipe for failure. 

As of September 2024, Coke Spiced has been discontinued. Shocking no one, but me. Kind of. 

I'm a Pepsi drinker, but even so, I recognize that Coke is basically the Disney of sodas. It's a brand recognized around the world, a borderline monopoly, and their marketing is usually well-thought out and on-point. It's synonymous with Christmas, Polar Bears, and Santa Claus. Remember their whole name-on-label campaign? It was brilliant marketing, which is why the ball being dropped on this product has me so perplexed.

I'm sure someone will point out how badly "New Coke," flopped as a counterpoint, BUT I think that was a purposeful flop to reactivate their brand awareness and grasp on consumers, and it worked! Tinfoil hat time, but I think the first Sonic movie did the same thing. Hideous early footage of Sonic released with human teeth (for some reason), and fans lost their minds. It garnered memes and tons of free publicity, and then the higher ups "heard" fans and changed it to be more on-model when the film released. I personally think THAT was another company pulling a, "New Coke," and it still worked all these years later. There IS Hanlon's razor to keep me grounded, which states, "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." But these failed projects pass through hundreds of people before reaching the public, and they ultimately make these companies a LOT of money, so my tinfoil hat will remain firmly on my head for this one. 

Through that lens, was this Coke Spiced failure intentional? If so, what is the end goal here? Bring raspberry back to remix machines in a blaze of glory hoping that the fear of losing it again will boost sales? Reformulating to the machine-version and rebranding as "Raspberry?" It's a flop, but not a big enough flop to make a mark on pop culture. Was it really just stupidity after all? 

I guess we'll never know. In the meantime, I have a 12 pack of this in my garage, and it might be giving me food poisoning? So I figured I'd write up an official review to document this. 

Back when I was still excited for this release, I bought two 12-packs of Spiced soda from Walmart. I was a little disappointed that the flavor isn't what I wanted it to be, but I finished the first case just fine.

Canned Coke Spiced is not as sweet and fruity as the machine version, but it's recognizably raspberry. More so in the artificial hard-candy sense than in real fruit juice, but it's pleasant and distinct enough that you wouldn't mistake it for Cherry or any other fruity flavor. However, the "spiced" aspect is fairly non-descript. It isn't warm and comforting like Cinnamon Coke, (another awesome product), and there isn't any one spice I can put my finger on. Maybe cloves? Thankfully it's pretty weak. It's a lack luster version of the Raspberry Coke I want it to be, but it's drinkable. I'd pick this over normal Coke, but I wouldn't pick it over canned Cherry Coke or my original Remix raspberry. 

I opened up the second case in August and had a can of Spiced before running out the door to get ringworm medication for my foster kittens (that's whole 'nother story). I finished my can of soda and I hop in the car to drive 30 minutes away for the the meds. As soon as they put the meds in my hands it hit me. We're talking cold sweats, stomach cramping pain, and the, "I need a bucket,"-feeling. But I'm stuck in my car on the highway half an hour from home. I contemplated pulling over and just puking on the side of the road, but I white knuckled it and make it back. It's a miserable night, but it passed by the morning. I wrote it off as a random stomach bug. A few days later I have another Coke Spiced after work, and about 30 minutes later I am right back where I was, same pain, but thankfully I was home this time. At this point I suspected the soda. It was the only thing that was the same on both occasions. I finished the first case without issue, and there weren't any reports on Google about contamination or recalls or anything. But there WERE whispers of Spiced being discontinued on Reddit. Drivers weren't getting it on their trucks and orders anymore. Coincidence? Could it be a bad batch situation? If so, why was no one else talking about it? 

Being a gastronomical daredevil, I drank another can a few days later at home to see what would happen, and I got sick. Again. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me 3 or more times? Shame on me. 

I still haven't seen any other people talking about this, so maybe something is wrong with this specific case, but I'm not drinking any more of this stuff. I'm not normally once to celebrate a downfall, but good riddance to this failure. 

My hope is that normal raspberry Coke returns to Remix machines and that'll be the end of it. I just want my go-to movie theater soda back. Did Spiced make any of you sick? Do you agree with my Sonic conspiracy? Any tips on curing ringworm in cats? Let me know in the comments!

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