Disgusting Sleepover Rejects

No one, ever, expected these to taste good. That's why they're a novelty. I bought these for a fun sleepover with my little cousins, because trying gross things together is 7fun. I don't know how to explain it, but it just is.

As you can see, not too long after opening, the candy inside compressed into a puck. The compressed form makes it look like we consumed a lot, but I was actually the only one brave enough to give these a try. (After we gave them a smell.)

So it's not a question of "if" these are bad, the question is "how bad are they?"

First up, Ranch. 

As I said, after sniffing, my cousins did not want to try these at all. They're teen\pre-teen girls and normally love trying things like pickle-flavored jelly beans or Beanboozled. I think that's a pretty clear sign of just how bad these are, with this ranch flavor getting the worst reaction of the two. 

Opened, it smells intensely savory and garlic-forward. Unlike a lot of novelty "gross" products that also happen to be candy, you can't detect any sugar at all. For me, the scent as a bit too garlic and onion focused to make me think of Ranch dressing, but no one would ever EVER mistake this for a normal cotton candy. 

Taste-wise, it is sweet and sugary (even if it didn't smell like it), and the Ranch flavoring is actually quite authentic. It's like you made cotton candy and spliced it with the dry ranch seasoning packets you can buy in the dressing aisle. That said, this is disgusting. Impressively accurate, but I never want to taste this again. 10\10 for delivering what it promised, 0\10 for tasting good. 

Pickle was a safer flavor, given how well the Claussen's pickle-flavored jelly beans went over with them, I thought this, though a novelty, might have potential. 

It did not. 

Opened, this one is very dill-forward, which isn't something we prefer in our pickles. (We like classic Deli or Claussen's.) Given our preference for a savory, garlic-y, pickle, this was not for us. 

The aroma is sweet and sugary, unlike the ranch version which smelled much more savory, mixed with a buttload of dill. Thanks, but no thanks. Taking a bite, this tasted less offensive than the ranch version, but it definitely isn't enjoyable either. 

The pickle version smelled a lot bolder than it tasted. You taste a lot of sweetness and sugar, some dill, a bit of the brine-y pickle flavoring, and an aftertaste that was a bit off, but the strongest note was sugary sweetness. I would say this gets a 5\10 for delivering what it promised, and a 0\10 for tasting good.

I went in knowing these would be flops, but I had assumed they'd be fun flops. Kind of like a good-bad movie. But I would say these are more along the lines of Cats (2019). It's not fun-bad, it's just bad-bad. The fact that the girls didn't dare to try either one is a testament to how bad-bad these actually are.

Can't say that I would recommend getting either one, even for shits and giggles, but I'm personally glad I gave them  shot. That said, I will definitely never repurchase. 

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