Friday, November 20, 2020

"Straw-bursts," A Missed Opportunity

Starburst Swirlers 
- CVS 

I love Starbursts. I love them so much that made this purse! It was made using clear vinyl, thread, tons of Starburst wrappers, and nylon strapping for handles. I had just taught myself to sew, so it wasn't great, but I still have it and it still works!    

I remember hoarding wrappers for ages and being pissed when the logo changed from a round "S" to a tear-drop. (I have since comes to terms with it.) I remember when Sours were first introduced, and their spiky sunburst-logo blowing up my spot (seen in the blue area of the bag), and I remember a Retro themed mix that had an awesome "Optimus Lime" flavor, and trippy white wrappers, that I thought were really ugly at the time, but looking back they were really cool. (Wish I saved more of those!) 

So yeah, I'm a pretty big Starburst fan. That said, when these were announced, I was pretty "meh," about the whole concept.   

For starters, the combinations don't make any sense. We have, strawberry/cherry, cherry/lemon, and strawberry/orange. I'm completely baffled. How could there not be a strawberry/lemon combination? It's probably one of the most glaringly obvious pairings of all time, and my go-to starburst snacking duo, but they missed that mark entirely. Instead we get...strawberry/orange? Is there anyone out there pairing strawberry with orange? 

Then we have the new stick-form, which just seems less easy to eat in my opinion. But who knows, I was wrong about the Retro wrappers, maybe I am wrong about this. Maybe I'm missing out of a glorious combination on strawberry and orange, so let's give these a try. 

I figured these were going to be the same as normal Starbursts, just stretched into a new shape. Boy, was I wrong.  

I was not a fan of unwrapped Starbursts, I didn't like the textural change and felt the flavors tasted, wrong...for lack of a better word. And these are suffering from the exact same thing. They have a grainy texture to them, with little to no chew or stretch, and the flavor tastes like a knock-off candy trying to be Starbursts.  

Smells sweet, fruity, and a little tangy, but also  bubblegum-y and off. The texture is like bubblegum, without the gum, and the flavor is mostly Starburst cherry, but mellowed out more than usual, and kind of...foamy? To me, this flavor combo is too redundant and generic. It's not bad, but it's not as good as real Starburst cherry or strawberry candies.  

Strawberry/Orange: This one smells like these orange-flavored calcium chews I used to take as a kid. It's a creamy, sherbet-y orange, which is pretty nice. Taste-wise, this isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I picked on it a lot, but it's not all that bad. It's a mild, creamy, orange, with a hint of Starburst strawberry. Again, neither flavor tastes right, they almost seem vanilla'd, or milder than usual, but not bad. I can't shake the vitamin-chew aspect though. 

Lemon/Cherry: The scent of this one reminds me of Twizzlers, but it tastes kind of like a zesty lemon and cherry handsoap. Again, the texture is definitely not for me, and neither flavor tastes quite right. The lemon is zestier than usual, which I like, but the cherry is extra fake, and trying to be deeper than usual. Like a faux black cherry. If Bath and Body Works Cherry Merlot and Kitchen Lemon (two of my favs) made a'd be this.

Biting into one of these is a hard sensation to describe. A little waxy on the outside, almost like stale taffy, but then soft, gritty, and kind of foamy, and the flavor pay off just isn't there. 
These are a major flop for me. I ate one of each flavor for this review, and didn't find myself wanting more. But, I seem to be in the minority again, because these and Starburst Minis seem to be relatively well received judging by all the positive things I see online. Into the Halloween bucket they go, that is, if I even get any Trick-or-Treaters this year. 

Fans of these would also like:
 Sweet Heat Starbursts, Starburst Ice Cream Jelly Beans, or Strawberry Starburst Water Ice 
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1 comment:

  1. Starbursts is also my favorite. I usually get it for my kids parties because they are one part of our party favors
    . They love all with Sweet taste and nice color.