Monday, October 24, 2022

I've Created A MONSTER in Cookie -Form - Pillsbury Sugar Cookie Dough

Monsters Cookies - Walmart

Count Chocula and Franken Berry were busy this year, we got the the KAWS designed cereal boxes (plus Boo Berry and Fruit Brute), some themed yogurt, the Monster Mash fruit snacks, and now these take-and-bake cookies. 

Normally these kinds of cookies aren't my thing, but they're Halloween-y, and cereal monster themed! Plus those weird little extruded faces have a certain charm to them. It's like these were made for me.

What do you say? Let's bake up some monsters! 

The front features semi-3D looking portraits of Count and Frank (they really get their money's worth out of those, they're on everything), the "Monsters" portion of the logo I loved so much from the Monster Mash snacks and cereal, and images of the extruded and sliced cookies you expect to find inside. BUT the real star of the show is the back of the box. 

I normally save the nutritional panel for my last photo, but we have this adorable, flat, illustration of Count and Frank arguing over who made the most cookies. It's a back-of-the-cereal-box kind of activity, with a charming 2D illustration that really ties all of the product concepts together. It might not be frame-worthy (FYI I framed the Monster Mash cereal box from last year and have it hanging in my living room), but I do plan on holding onto it for my candy/packaging collection. 

Inside, the unbaked cookies were small, like, way smaller than I expected. Each one was about two-fingers-width tall and two wide. The faces vary from cookie to cookie, the two in my hand in the photo were some of the crispest, clearest, ones, while other's (mainly the Count Chocula ones) went full-blob. But, like those novelty ice cream bars of Spiderman, or Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls, the wonkiness is part of the appeal.

Although you can eat these raw, right out of the package, I opted to bake them. So I popped them onto a cookie tray and baked for 12 minutes. 

 A few of the Count-cookies cracked during baking, but they held together when removed from the tray so I'm not mad at them. I just find it interesting that it only happened to that particular flavor and only certain ones. They were all on the tray and baked at the same time so maybe they were drier than others? Cracking aside, don't they look freaking adorable on my spiderweb plate?

It is strange to say, but somehow, these cookies taste more like the cereal than the actual cereal.

Franken Berry: Soft and chewy sugar cookie texture with a fruity flavor that is bold, and breakfast-y, with a possible hint of marshmallow? The box marketed this as a berry flavored cookie, but it's unlike any "real" berry I've ever had. I don't think this is what Franken Berry used to taste like either. It actually reminds me of Crunchberries, which is impressive despite it's inaccuracy. The last time I had normal Franken Berry cereal, I thought the flavoring was really weak, and what little there was, was unpleasant. This? This is actually something worth eating

Count Chocula: Same chewy cookie texture, but this time with a chocolate marshmallow flavor. The chocolate flavoring is pretty weak, which is weird given that it is marketed as a chocolate cookie and that marshmallow wasn't even mentioned at all. It immediately reminded me of the Take-and-Bake Lucky Charms cookies I reviewed. Unlike the inaccurate Franken Berry, these cookies actually taste like the marshmallows from Count Chocula, sweet, chewy, marshmallow-y, with a hint of chocolate. Part of me wishes they were more chocolatey, but I love marshmallows, so I'm more than happy to eat them as-is.  

When it comes to pairing these with milk, both flavors work, giving you the ultimate breakfast cereal-vibe. Worth noting, neither one softened like a normal cookie when dunked, it stayed dense and chewy in the center. Plus side to that is that there is no risk of it getting soggy and falling to the bottom of the cup, but...why? What makes these cookies so different than ones I bake at home and keeps them together? Is it witchcraft? 

Whatever their secret, these were definitely worth the buy. Be sure to grab some before they crawl into the seasonal product graveyard. 

Today's brief Halloween Ramble is about Blade (1998.) In recent years, Blade started getting credit for being a launchpad for the modern Marvel Cinematic Universe, which it rightly deserves, but it's getting a reboot. I'm not a reboot hater, sometimes reboots can be great, like the new Hellraiser. (I've watched it three times since it's release!) But I'm worried about Blade. 

After a recent re-watch, the CGI certainly shows it's age, but the rest of the 1998 film holds up. It's the right amount of cool visuals, fast paced action, and camp. The cold-open intro with the Vampire night club? Amazing. 10 out of 10. Having a remake won't take away from the original, but I have one word for you, "Morbius."  

Morbius, Marvel's recent vampire movie, was critically panned. I don't like to hop on the bandwagon, so I watched it for myself. There are fun to hate-watch moments, and Matt Smith's dancing wardrobe scene is a gift to us all, but it's rough. I want to take a moment to say that Matt Smith was a delight and I enjoyed every time he was on screen, but other than that, the movie was shockingly clunky, especially for Marvel. That didn't give me much hope for where they plan on taking Blade in the near future.

While I wait to see if my fears are warranted, I will happily re-watch the original Trilogy, especially Trinity with my beloved vampire Pomeranians. What's your favorite fun-bad Halloween movie? (Mine is definitely Blade Trinity.) Let me know in the comments down below!  

Fans of this would also like: Lisa Frank Cookies, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar, or Lucky Charms Cookies

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