Friday, August 19, 2022

Pop-Tart Party! - Multiple Flavors, ONE Post

Went through my pantry and found a BUNCH of Pop-Tarts. I guess I kept buying them and forgetting about them. Rather than stretch these reviews out into individual posts (which I could do, because it's a bunch of content) I am kind of sick of these things and want to get them out of here ASAP. 

So I'll just run down the list and rate them out of 5. 

Peach Cobbler
- Part of that whole fruity pie line they did a while ago. I was on the hunt for the banana flavor, but kept finding this one instead. I had high hopes for it, but it's a bit too dry for my tastes. The filling has a creamy peach flavor that reminds me of flavored instant oatmeal, with a hint of cinnamon. Right from the package, it's more dry flour-y crust than anything else. Toasted it's slightly better, but not by much. I rather have the flavored oatmeal. Wouldn't buy this one again. 2.5/5

Lemon Creme Pie
- Really excited for this because I thought it was banana, but lemon is good too. Filling has a foamy lemon flavor to it, kind of like meringue pie from the grocery store. Sweet, tangy, but again, lots of dry crust. Toasted I feel like the lemon flavor gets a bit brighter, but I wish the filling had been more pronounced. I like it more than the peach, but I wouldn't buy this again either. I rather have a legit pie. 3/5

Salted Caramel Pretzel
- I had the cinnamon sugar pretzel Pop-Tart, and liked it, so I hoped this would be just as yummy. But man, they are not joking about the salty. This is very salty. I love salted caramel, and add salt to the tops of my cookies when I bake them, but even I found this to be too salty. It was, however, less dry than the other fruity flavors I just reviewed. So it has that in it's favor. I'm a big fan of the pretzel crust, it's a big improvement over the standard crust, which literally tastes like flour and water. Does anyone out there eat Pop-Tarts just for the crust? 3/5

Mystery Pop-Tarts
- I heard these were gross, and avoided them. Then they showed up at Ollie's discount for like 50 cents, so I figured, why not see what all the fuss was about? Opened, I like the printed images, very cute, and they smell like sugar-coated sour cream and onion dip. The filling is white, and a little chalky when split in half, like dry cake frosting. Taking a bite, it's no where near as bad as I expected. I have had way worse. Like those Rotten Zombie Skittles. It's sweet, a little cheesy, and onion-y. It kind of reminds me of a bagel with cream cheese/ If memory serves, I think these were everything bagel flavored? Let me check Google...okay looks like I remembered correctly. It's everything bagel. Reviews online really tear this one apart, but It's really not that bad. Nothing I would buy again on purpose, but after nearly 10 years of eating weird food stuff, this is far from the worst thing I have ever eaten.  1.5/5

Moral of the story: I don't like Pop-Tarts as much as I think I do, especially new ones, and I should probably stop buying them.  

But, if I had to list my favorite Pop-Tarts of all time, My top 5 (in no particular order) 

    1. Hot Fudge Sundae
    2. Maple Bacon 
    3. S'More
    4. PB& J 
    5. Blue Raspberry or Watermelon (Same footing, I would take either one) 

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