Sometimes Foodie: What Have I Done?

Korean Cheetos - H-Mart

I'm aware that the majority of reviews this year have been negative, and I don't know if it's because after all these years my palette has become more discerning, or if food companies are totally phoning it in. If it's the latter, is it an American-exclusive issue, or a worldwide epidemic?

To test that theory, here we have two flavors of Korean Cheetos: White Corn Soup and Smoky BBQ. Both flavors sound great, in theory, but I'm skeptical.

Smoky BBQ: The flavor-related image on this bag is little fillets of grilled meat, so I'm not 100% sure what to expect here. Will it be rich and meaty? Or smoky and sweet like BBQ sauce?

Once opened, they smell kind of like waffles? (oh no.) Very...unexpected? The scent is very sweet, but there is a little smokiness and savory aspect that is reminiscent of breakfast sausage, but absolutely nothing about this aroma says, "Barbecue."

The Cheetos inside are a pale yellow color with reddish-brown seasoning, and they taste like...regret. Immediate regret.

Why are these so sweet? The corn-base is crunchy and corn-y like usual, no problems there, but the flavor dust is (in my opinion) absolutely horrible. The best description I can come up with is smokey caramelized onions covered in heaps powdered sugar. That's a big ol' NOPE from me, dawg.

Speaking of dogs, my younger pup, Pepper, freaking loves these. If he could review them, it would be a 10/10 tail wags, but as far as human consumption goes, this is definitely not the snack for me. (My other dog, Jack-Jack, agrees with me that these are not fit for consumption.) Update: I feel nauseous after eating about 5 of these...and they aren't exactly healthy for dogs, so into the trash they go! (Sorry Pepper.)

ALSO, there was a weird little cardboard POG-like toy inside this flavor, which was fun because nothing has toys or prizes inside it anymore, but...I have no idea what it is or what to do with it? Any thoughts?

White Corn Soup: I have high hopes for this one. I've had a few different brands of corn soup from H-mart over the years and I've never had a bad one yet. From my experience, most corn soups are sweet, savory, and onion-heavy. Kind of like the failed BBQ flavored Cheetos, but better balanced so it actually tastes good.

Once opened, these smell like freshly buttered sweet yellow corn on the cob. It's a shockingly accurate aroma that reminds me of summer BBQs.

These Cheetos are even paler than the BBQ variety, and other than a few stray specs of black seasoning, they are uniformly a butter-yellow color.

I took a bite, and this is not too bad. The flavoring is authentic corn, butter, onion, and salt but with heaping helpings of sugar. These aren't as sweet as the BBQ variety, but they're sweeter than I'd like them to be, and the sweetness lingers long after the actual Cheeto is gone. Compared to the BBQ, these are more edible, but the excessive sweetness makes them unsnackable. I can eat about three before the sweetness ruins it for me.

Again, Pepper is a huge fan. Doing little dances and begging me for Korean Cheetos, but I will be doing no such thing. These are better than bad, but far from great.

Since BBQ Cheetos are commonly listed as one of the top 10 most purchased snacks in Korea, this flavoring must really appeal to their consumers, and I am all for sweet and savory snacks, but these are both too extreme for me.

If you like adding sugar to everything (or you're Pepper my rescue Pomeranian), these are the snacks for you. Me? I'm tossing these in the trash and never looking back. Korean Cheetos just aren't for me.