Monday, October 31, 2022

All Tricks, no Treats - Happy Halloween!

I had a blast streaming with Queenz Dragon yesterday. If you missed out, be sure to watch the replay, if you do, you can see me try these disgusting candy corn live. (Spoiler alert, I nearly killed my friend.) 

I was doing so well with posting, and then I dropped the ball last night. I came home from streaming, took off my cat ears, opened my browser with the intent to write today's post and....the google doodle got me. It's the freaking ghost game! It's back! 

I love this game. So, after playing way too many was time to prep for Trick or Treaters and go to bed. I'm still posting before midnight, so I'm going to count this as a win. 

So, for my final Halloween post (I still have plenty of fall stuff on deck), I have the official, typed up, version of these gross Football-themed candycorn we tried on stream. 

These are available now, and exclusive to Walgreens. Inside are 5 flavors. 

We have: Popcorn, Vanilla Ice Cream, Fruit Punch, Hot Dog, and Hamburger. 

I know very little about football, so here is a brief explanation of football, according to me, Maria. 

I am in New Jersey, but we root for The Philadelphia Eagles. We hate The Patriots, but even more-so when Tom Brady was on their team. Tom Brady is a million-years-old in football-years, and now he plays for Florida, so we hate them too. And Tom Brady is having problems with his marriage, I think he's divorced now, and another football guy posted a photo hugging his wife, but Brady still won't quit football. Football minutes are lies. A game can have 10 minutes on the clock but it will not end in 10 minutes. You've got another solid hour of this, at least. If players get mildly hurt, they just watch the game from the sidelines, and look sad, while their arm or whatever is bleeding and no one gets them a blanket or like, a hot beverage. If and when the Eagles do win, Philadelphia turns into Mad Max Fury Road, and I, a non-football person, do not under any circumstances enter the city of Philadelphia. Also there was this very accurate SNL skit. From what I understand, at games, a lot of simple foods are served but it's like, stupid-expensive. 

That's it. That's all I know. Now, even with my very limited knowledge, I still feel like these aren't the right flavors for a Football mix. Is it just me or do these foods read more baseball than they do football? Either way, the only loser here is me. Who is eating them, willingly, for a second time.  

3/5 sounded gross from the get-go.

Fruit Punch: Red-top and pink bottom, once you get through the fondant-candy-corn-sweetness, there is a fruity, Hawaiian Punch-like, flavoring. Like eating a normal piece of candy corn covered in a dusting of red Pixie Stix. It's fairly mild flavor-wise. The Nerds Candy corn was much stronger in terms of flavor, but it's not bad. Like most candy corn, it's too sweet for my normal snacking. So it's a one and done, but a pleasant one. 

Popcorn: Pale yellow bottom, off-white top. Again, sugary sweet base, but with an artificial movie-theater-butter flavoring. Even sweeter than the Jelly Belly Popcorn-bean. I wish this one had a bit of salt to offset it. Again, not bad, or even gross, but definitely sickeningly sweet. I don't hate the buttery flavoring, but I wish there was actual salt for both texture and to break up the sickening sweetness.  

Vanilla Ice Cream: Tan bottom, off-white top. I thought these were originally popcorn based on looks, but they're ice cream. The vanilla flavoring is rich, and buttery, but more authentic than the popcorn one. It reminds me of vanilla fudge, of yellow-colored vanilla ice cream. Even though it is very sweet, the warm vanilla notes make it really enjoyable and it's the most like it's namesake, in a good way. Easily my favorite of the mix and the easiest to eat. 

Here we go....

Hot Dog: Tan bottom, pink top, in my opinion, this is the worst one in the mix. It tastes like you took hot dog water and made it into fudge. It's oddly meaty, kind of like Spam, but so intensely sugary with a finished that tastes the way hot dog water smells. I'm impressed that Brach's pulled this off, but I hate it and don't want to eat it ever again. And yet I did. To write this post. You're welcome. Click to see the Twitch clip!

Hamburger: Red bottom, tan top. Personally, I feel like hot dog is worse, but that doesn't mean this is good. Just the lesser of two evils. This tastes like Gardein vegetarian Ground Be'f, or like, the little freeze dried bits of beef you'd find in a government ration or beef instant ramen, just covered in sugar. It's bad. The dog-treat after-taste lingers. If I had to eat a handful of them, I would probably throw up. I hate this, but I hate Hot Dog more. 

These are not a yummy candy that you would buy for snacking. This is a novelty. Something you give to your friends and say, "this is so gross! You should taste it!" For what it is, a novelty, it's a good one. Perfect for eating on streams, or during halftime shows, or for spit-takes. 

There is a sick joy in trying knowingly gross stuff with friends, and that is where this shines. That said, once the novelty wears off, and everyone tries the flavors, this is decorative garbage. It can sit in a candy dish to trick friends and family for a bit, but it's ultimate fate is to end up in a landfill. 

Brach's is very innovative, and playful. I would love to see this trend continue BUT I would love it even more if these were in smaller bags that reflected it's novel nature. More small boxes, less giant bags. 

Would you ever even -want- to try these? If you have, do you agree that hotdog is worse than hamburger? And how was your Halloween? Let me know in the comments. I'm going to go chuck these in the trash and watch Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island before it leaves Prime at midnight. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Looking for something to watch? Check out the behind the scenes chaos

From my Halloween Foster Kitten Photoshoot from this time last year! 


Fans of this would also like: Nerds Candy Corn, Barbarian (2022 now on HBOMax), Mystery Incorporated with Hot Dog Water, or Candy Corn flavored Red Vines 

Keep Up with My Adventures on Social Media!   

No comments:

Post a Comment