Something is FISHY about these Marshmallows - Swedish Fish Marshmallows

Swedish Fish Marshmallows - Walmart

When you buy a bag of Swedish Fish, you know exactly what you're getting. Little fish-shaped candies with the recognizable, red, lingonberry flavoring. Steadfast, true, and satisfying. Swedish Fish themed products on the other hand? Not so much. 

Anytime I stray from the classic, I regret it. Swedish Fish chocolate Oreos? No, thank you. Crush soda themed Swedish Fish? Somehow, flavorless. Swedish Fish chewing gum? Actually, that one was pretty great. There are some exceptions to the rule, the aforementioned gum, and the Rita's water ice flavor. But the reason those items succeeded where others failed is because they stuck with the red lingonberry flavoring, and just offered it in a new form. 

That said, how will these marshmallows fair?  

Red Velvet Rantings and Aldi Cookies

Benton Red Velvet Cookies 

It's trendy to take chocolate-whatever, add red food dye, top it with white frosting, and promote it as "red velvet." But it's wrong! In case you're new here, "red velvet" is one of my rant-triggering flavors. (That, and "birthday cake.") So, let the ranting commence! 

(You can skip right to the review by clicking the continue reading link below)

I love baking, and I watched The Food Network obsessively in the 90's and 2000's, back when they were more focused on actual baking/cooking and not reality TV. I have seen tons of bakers discuss red velvet, because it's a real, historical, baking-thing. The coloring and texture comes from a reaction in the ingredients, typically cocoa powder, baking soda, vinegar and buttermilk. 

Also, red isn't the only "velvet" in town. Throughout baking history, there have been tons of other flavors, since it's about getting a certain texture in your cake and not a flavor in and of itself. But what most people get hung up on is the dang coloring. Hence all the "pink," "green" or "blue velvet" recipes on Pinterest. The color has next-to-nothing to do with how it tastes! (As long as you're not using beet juice or a distasteful food dyes.)

A "Red Velvet Cake" is a chocolatey cake, with a burgundy-brown coloring, and a velvety mouthfeel. Typically topped with a white frosting, to highlight the coloring of the cake itself, which may or may not be cream cheese based. (These days cream cheese is the go-to, but at one point it was ermine.) Not just a chocolate cake with a ton of red food dyes, or beets, or whatever else you dump in there. 

So, we have established that the coloring doesn't affect the flavor, it's more-so a reaction, AND that the main reason to get "Red Velvet" is the texture of the cake itself. So... how do you make other things like gum, or cookies, "red velvet?" You don't. 

But "cream cheese filling" Doesn't exactly have the same decadence or punchiness as "red velvet." It's all about spin and marketing. (Ever see Thank You for Smoking?) 

Which brings us here, to this review. Why would I buy cookies that are "red velvet" given that I clearly think it's a marketing scam. Especially after the Benton Hot Cocoa cookie fiasco? 

What's The Difference? - 3 Kinds of Apples

Pine Brand Apple Candy (3 Kinds) - Asian Food Market

Another item from my Asian Food Markets farewell-haul. (I miss them.) Last I heard, they were scouting new locations for a South Jersey store, but things have been pretty quiet. I hope for the best, but I fear that this might have been goodbye, for good. 

Contextually, this is easy to figure out. These are hard candies with different apple flavors, a pink, a red, and a gold. And since my hiatus, I still haven't learned to read Japanese, so we're going to be winging it a little in this one. I mean, I can tell it is three different varieties of apples, but I am not sure which ones and if these are region-specific.  Thanks to the almighty-Google, I was able to find this, which looks almost exactly the same, but the golden apple in the center (on the right) is replaced with a green one. Pretty sneaky, sis. I guess apple variety packs are this brand's thing? 

Since the top and bottom apple image are the same as the one found online, I can assume they are Johnathan Gold and Fuji. The gold is still a mystery, but I am going into this with some healthy skepticism. Will these actually taste any different? 

Project 7 Red Velvet Cupcake Gum - Target

Project 7 Red Velvet Cupcake Gum - Target

Do any of you watch Orange is The New Black? If you do, you might remember THIS scene where prison guard, and fad-dieter, O'Neill goes on a tirade about the popularity of Red Velvet Cake and how he personally feels like it's a scam.

You tell 'em O'Neill! I grew up watching cooking shows, so even though I know that Red Velvet Cake is indeed a real thing, and a Southern tradition, I can't help but agree with him. The sudden surge of products and popularity we are seeing is a total scam coasting on tons of food dye and all of the food companies out there are getting in on it. We have Oreos, yogurts, m&m's, and now? Chewing gum. Even Project 7 isn't immune to the trendiness of this red-hued wannabe. I love this company and their concept, but I hate the trendiness of all this red velvet cake nonsense, so let's see if trying this gum will make any difference in my velvet-y stance.

Tic-Tac Be Mine Mix - Target: Marlton, NJ

Tic-Tac Be Mine Mix - Target: Marlton, NJ

Let me start out by saying that neither of these flavors are new. Wild cherry was released as a stand alone flavor back in 2011, and strawberry has been in a few mixes since it's release, including the Strawberry Fields and Strawberry Fusion.  I picked this up because 1) it was on sale and 2) I've never reviewed either of these flavors before. Well, I guess I kind of reviewed cherry back in July with Tic-Tac's Summer Ice Pop mix, but maybe there's a difference between normal cherry and wild cherry? I very much doubt it, but I figured these were cheap enough to take the risk.

The flavors may not be new, but at the very least, I had fun photographing them.

Holiday Mix Skittles - DollarTree: Cherry Hill, NJ

Holiday Mix Skittles - DollarTree: Cherry Hill, NJ

We all know by now that I'm a bit of a Scrooge about the winter holidays, so I didn't buy very many holiday themed foods or candies, but this odd little item caught my eye. It's a mix of Skittles that are only red and green, and the flavors in this mix are a bit...off.

Limited Edition Blood Orange Jones Soda - Target: Cherry Hill, NJ

Limited Edition Blood Orange Jones Soda - Target: Cherry Hill, NJ : store link

It's finally here! This Friday is Halloween! To celebrate, I'll be posting seasonal sweets and snacks. First up, some vampire-themed limited edition soda!

Last Halloween, Jones Soda released four different seasonal flavors: candy corn, caramel apple, blood orange and red licorice. I was able to buy and review the caramel apple and candy corn versions, but I missed out on the other two flavors. I was really hoping they would all return this year, but they didn't! Only blood orange and caramel apple were released for 2014, and now I am kicking myself that I didn't get the red licorice version when I had the chance. (Maybe next year?) At least I was able to grab a 4-pack of the blood orange to try.

I will never stop using this gif