Chocolate Frosted Donut Kit-Kat Bar

Today in, "things that promise to taste like other things", we have a Chocolate Frosted Donut Kit-Kat bar. Unlike the cocoa Pop-Tarts, which were bought out of mild curiosity and a love of all things marshmallow, this was purchased out of anger. Kit-Kat still gets my money regardless of my intentions, so I guess the score is still: 

marketing departments: 1

random food reviewer: 0

But I am confident that this confectionary covered wafer bar will NOT taste like fried dough covered in chocolate icing. How could this possibly taste like a chocolate frosted donut? 

Marshmallow Mash-Up

Jet-Puffed Gummies - Dollar Tree

I love marshmallows, and I love gummies, but will I love these? 

Ranting & Retail Therapy - Halloween Clearance 2023

I trick-or-treated-myself to clearance candy. A LOT of clearance candy. Even by my standards.

Originally I wanted to find some pillows and décor, but it was slim pickin's. That's what you get when Christmas items roll out on October 1st. (RIP Thanksgiving, you're problematic, but I love your food.)

Upon reflection, Christmas isn't to blame. (Although I will make angry Instagram Reels about winter products encroaching upon my spooky season.) No matter what seasonal-flavor you subscribe to, it's all the same consumerism, and our consumer-clock is completely out of whack. 

Back to school sales were popping up as early as June, when some kids were still in school. Halloween was rolling out in July. Christmas by the end of September. Forget Daylight Savings, this is what needs adjusting! Sticking with a Christmas metaphor, we're opening our gifts too early. By the time the actual event rolls around, we're celebration-fatigued and the magic is gone.

How do we get it back? At some point, will we skew so far that we loop back into appropriate seasonal time frames?  Like when something is so lame it's cool? Probably not. And I definitely can't control when the Pumpkin Spice Lattes or Mariah Carey anthems hit the masses. 

Spotting skeletons on shelves in July is bittersweet. I'm spooky-season through-and-through but I also love summer, and if I want the "good" Halloween stuff, I need to grab it before the end of August or I'll have nothing come October! The justified fear of missing out because I didn't conform to accelerated consumption stops me from attempting a more appropriate self-imposed timeline.

I am but one little blogger in a sea of nonsense on the internet, and I am screaming into the void, "let us savor our seasons!" But I don't know how to make it stop.  

Dramatics aside...here's what I bought on the clearance racks this year. 

Halloween Candy Showdown: Name-Brand vs Target vs Trader Joes

No-frills products are the way to go, especially when it comes to pantry staples, but there are some exceptions to the rule, like candy bars. It's really tempting to grab store branded sweets when filling your candy bowl, but are they worth it? 

I grabbed candy from Target's house brand, Trader Joe's house brand, and the real deal, who will come out on top? 

Break me off a piece of that Birthday Cake!

Birthday Cake Kit-Kat Bar 

I'm a hypocrite. I rant about "birthday cake" flavoring being a scam, which I 100% stand by, and yet? I. Just. Keep. Buying. It. 

After I searched for, "birthday cake," on my blog, and saw how many results came up, I realized how intense my hypocrisy has been. Why keep buying a product that infuriates me? 

But, after looking at the results? They prove my theory to be true.  

Any cake, any flavor, can be a, "birthday cake." Some of these products are chocolate with chocolate frosting, some vanilla, with vanilla frosting, sometimes a mix of the two...the only thing that stays consistent is sprinkles. Every single one of these "birthday" items has sprinkles, either actual ones, or implied specks of rainbow colors. And I am expecting this to be more of the same. 

Peeps Cotton Candy? Worth buying?

Peeps Cotton Candy with Marshmallows - Target 

Peeps cotton candy with marshmallows. Is it just normal cotton candy? Marshmallow flavored cotton candy? I'm not entirely sure, but there ARE tiny freeze dried marshmallows inside, and I love cereal marshmallows, so I had to check it out. 

LOOK Choco Mint Ice Sand

"Ice sand?" Looking at this product's name, some of you may be a little confused.

"Sand" is short for "sandwich."  Or, "sando." Which is also short for sandwich. Basically, Japan doesn't have time for your long, not-cute, words. (Joking.) Reading manga and watching anime, I'm pretty familiar with this shortened term, but even if you weren't I think the context clues make it rather obvious that this is ice cream sandwich themed. In this case, a chocolate mint one.

Gingerbread Kit-Kats - Quickie Review

While I work on my destash video, let's keep the posts a' coming. 

Today I have a quickie, Gingerbread Kit-Kats. 

Where have you been hidin' out lately, honey? - Fruity Cereal Kit-Kat Bar

When I first started blogging, I would find out about a new product and purposefully go out to several stores just to find it. Hitting up three Targets in a day to find exclusive limited edition m&m's or different flavors of Peeps. It was fun while it lasted, but I don't do that anymore. I just go about my day, run errands, and if I happen to see stuff while I'm out and about, I'll get it.  That's what happened here. I saw this flavor released on Instagram, what feels like ages ago, and then I spotted it at CVS in a Key Lime Kit-Kat display box while buying Neosporin. (Living that glamourous cat-owner life.)   

By now, Blueberry Muffin Kit-Kats have been released, which means Fruity Cereal is old news, but it's still Rock n Roll to me. I'm still excited to give this a try. 

HALFWAY TO HALLOWEEN! - Monster Mash Cereal

Happy Halloween! I mean, April Fools!

Years ago I teased about shifting formats into a health-food blog or giving up junkfood forever, but now I'm old and dead inside. (Or should I say, undead?) 

Instead of a funny prank, or fake photoshoped flavors, I wanted to take a moment to remind you that April marks the halfway point to Halloween, and I LOVE Halloween. So today is an opportunity to review something I bought during spooky season and never got around to posting. Monster Mash cereal. 

It also piggybacks off of my previous post, the Strawberry Chocolate Kit-Kat Duo bar. Win-win!

"Ah, a duet of pleasures." - Strawberry + Dark Chocolate Kit-Kat Bars

Strawberry Dark Chocolate Kit-Kat Bar

The Kit-Kat Duos have become a trio. First we had Dark Chocolate Mint, then Mocha Chocolate, and now Strawberry and Dark Chocolate. The first fruity addition to the line-up.  

If the other flavors are any indication, this is going to be a winner...but strawberry can be hit or miss with Kit-Kat. Will this taste authentic, like the other two? Or will it taste too fake? 

Blurred Limes - A Trio of Lime Themed Reviews

3 Lime Reviews 

I freaking love lime, and I also love putting a dent in my foodie backlog, so today we have a triple dose of citrus. (No need to worry about scurvy!) Three lime products, one a returning classic, compared to two limited edition releases. Which is best and how do they rate on a scale of 1-10 in terms of lime-y-ness? We shall see!

Ah Chex Mix, We Meet Again - Strawberry Yogurt Simply Chex

Strawberry Yogurt Chex Mix - Target

Did anyone else go through obsessive snacking phases as a teen, or was it just me? There was one summer I was absolutely obsessed with Herr's BBQ potato chips. I ate them until I was absolutely sick of them. I moved on to Pizza/Ranch Doritos which I ate religiously until they were discontinued. Then I became obsessed with Chex Mix for a few years, but this was back when it was new, in a blue and white bag, and it still had bagel chips. (I also think the pieces covered in extra seasoning were far more plentiful back then.) There is actually a fun rant about which pieces are the best in The Venture Bros. episode, A Very Venture Halloween.

The extra-seasoned rice Chex were my holy grail during snacking, I could easily demolish an entire bag while seeking them out. But, like the BBQ chips, eventually I made myself sick of it, so I moved on to something else. 

During my Chex-Mix-less years, things changed. More flavors, both sweet and savory, have come and gone, and, as stated earlier, bagel chips are MIA in the original mix (but we still keep two different types of meh-flavored-pretzels? Blasphemy!)

I think I have only tried a handful of the different varieties. I remember a caramel turtle flavor, a chocolate one, and the bold mix (which I hoped was 100% extra seasoned pieces, so I was very disappointed when it wasn't). I think that's it, but honestly, none of the other flavors appealed to me. Even now, I bought this flavor on a complete whim. At best I had hopes this would taste like breakfast cereal, at worst? Chapstick or maybe NesQuik. So, will this be a new snacking obsession, or a regrettable impulse buy? 

Pucker Up - Lemon Crisp Kit-Kats

Lemon Crisp Kit-Kat - Walgreens

Hi everyone! I disappeared again. (Sorry!) In my defense, my one-year pandemi-versary is coming up and reflecting on the past year has put my head in a weird place. I am still surrounded by candy and things I want to post about, but editing the photos and typing posts requires a level of focus that I just don't have right now. I'm trying to schedule a bunch of reviews over the weekend to fix all that, but in the meantime, there's a new Kit-Kat in town! 

A Duet of Duos

Kit-Kat Duos: Mocha & Dark Chocolate and Mint  - Aldi

American Kit-Kats are finally getting a steady stream of creativity and innovation! 

Previously, all my fun Kit-Kat reviews came from flavors that were sold overseas, like wasabi or bakeable Sweet Potato, but in the last four years we've had a healthy amount of American flavors. Seasonal offerings, like pumpkin pie, red velvet, and raspberry, a few local-flavors (like California Strawberry), and now stand alone packs of Apple Pie, Birthday Cake, and these Duos. 

The mint Duo came out over a year ago, and I guess it was successful, because it's stuck around and now the line is expanding with this new mocha flavor. So, why not check both out and see what they have to offer? 

Chocolate Popcorn m&m's...football themed?

Popcorn m&m's - Wawa(?)

Sometimes I surprise myself. I cannot tell you why I bought these. I mean, I like popcorn, but I usually hate popcorn flavored things, like Jelly Belly beans, maybe it was part of my impulsive pandemic purchasing? 

I think I grabbed these at Wawa back along with that Apple Pie Kit-Kat and the Netflix themed ice cream. At the very least, it gives me something to review. So, will these be good? Bad? Or just plain weird? 

Turns Out I'm 100% That Witch - Witch's Brew Kit-Kats

Witch's  Brew Kit-Kats - CVS

Where are all the ghoulish goods? I feel like I usually have a decent pile of new Halloween-y treats to review each year, but this time around I only have these Kit-Kats, and the Franken-cup Reeses. (Which are arguably just the same as normal Reese's anyway.) Other than these two, it's just a sea of seasonal repeats. 

Other brands may be lacking the spooky spirit, but Kit-Kat is picking up the slack! For fall 2020 they've released normal Kit-Kat bars in Halloween packaging, white-chocolate orange-colored bars, pumpkin pie flavored bars, glow in the dark wrappers, AND these Halloween-specific Witch's Brew ones. While most of them are just re-packagings/coloring of year-round goodies, I still appreciate the effort. Let's dig in!

Franken-Cup or Franken-Cup's Monster?

 

Reese's Franken-Cup - CVS 

Historically, Reese's tends to play it safe seasonally, focusing more on shapes, like pumpkins and bats, instead of wacky seasonal flavors. At first that seems kind of lame, why not try something new? But, would I really want Reese's to make something like, pumpkin spiced peanut butter cups? Or something along the lines of Zombie Skittles? That's going to be a "no," from me, dawg. 

So while this may seem boring at first, I appreciate it's practicality and how the subtle color change acts as an homage to a classic horror icon, Frankenstein's Monster, and his notoriously flat-head, but, does the colored confectionary bottom change the overall Reese's experience for the better? Or worse? We shall see...

Hot Takes on White Confectionery Candy

Apple Pie Kit-Kat - Wawa

Not only is this item made with white crème, but it's also apple-flavored, but there is no mention of apple anywhere in the ingredients. (Other than a vague, "Natural and Artificial Flavors.") Maybe I should have saved this for October, because this is the stuff of my foodie nightmares. 

I blame those novelty white-"chocolate" lollipops from the 90's for my hatred of white candy confections, that and you know..., the fact that most of them taste terrible. I have vivid memories of them being everywhere as a kid. They came in every color and shape imaginable: ballet slippers, turkeys, Easter bunnies, etc. They Pavlov'd me into an irrational reaction of disgust whenever I see white chocolate confections to this day.

Then there's apple. I like real apples, and sour apple flavoring, but there's something about fake-apple, especially when it's emulating baked goods, that makes me feel like I'm eating a scented candle or air freshener.  

So, why did I buy this? Well, I've been hunting down the new Voo-Dew at Wawa and other convenience stores, with no luck, but every shop had a display for the Birthday Cake flavored Kit-Kats...that was filled with these instead. After a few failed stops, and no Voo-Dew, I got annoyed with being empty-handed, so I finally caved and picked one of these up (and a jalapeno-cheese stuffed pretzel), hoping it might be so bad that I would write a funny, and slightly mean, review...

Christmas vs. Halloween : Kit-Kat Edition

Pumpkin Pie vs. Sweet Cinnamon Kit-Kats 

I know I said I wasn't going to jump into the winter stuff...but these were ALSO on clearance, so let's pit Halloween against Christmas and see who comes out on top! 

I'll let Halloween go first, because it's my favorite, and it's obviously the superior holiday.